On 2009 and the decade

Friends,

I think I’m going to miss the decade. I would relive most of the decade. My top five years of the decade (starting with the best): 2007, 2008, 2000, 2006, and 2003.

2009, though. Not 2009. With 2009 I feel like a teacher waiting late after class for that failing student to show up and turn in something great. But with 6 hours left on the edge of the decade, I’m pessimistic. 2009 is going to fail.

I was discussing matters like these with a friend of mine recently. I vocalized my strong negative emotional reaction to the year. I woke up the first day of the year with a hangover, and a few days later I drove back to California from Arkansas at top speed, a sober man. I feel like I’ve been making that trip for a year now. That’s what 2009 feels like to me.

My friend protested. He insisted otherwise in a cruel and agenda-laden fashion–the leading question.

Didn’t you quit smoking? He asked. Yes.

Didn’t you (and your brother) write a script? Yes.

Didn’t you revise it 4 times to get it to a place you’re happy with? Yes.

Didn’t you attend a writing program? Didn’t you continue your studies of philosophy at the same time? Didn’t you make new friends and deepen old friendships? Didn’t you finish a running program, gain weight in muscle, start a blog, continue a blog, outline 2 more scripts, finish 3 more short scripts, skinny dip in the ocean, hike through mountain trails, go to a shooting range, do your taxes, cook a casserole, learn lessons, take up counseling, juggle 5 jobs, and buy some kick ass cowboy boots? Didn’t your sister move out to LA? Didn’t you travel around the state and explore Los Angeles? Didn’t you see the desert and commune with monks? Can’t you mark something completely new you’ve done every single month this year?

Yes, I can. But in the sport of good argument, I can’t say this accounts for everything. I amplified an impulse for new things. But. You can hit rock bottom more times than once, or maybe I haven’t hit it yet. I lost a lot. I lost friendships. Direction. Anchors.

You gained some too.

The thing is, I think we’re both right. And. Ill say this. I’ll miss the decade, but I’m glad when 2010 gets here. I don’t have any resolutions for this year, but it’ll be better.

The best things of the year?

I’d rather not relive 2009 except in the movies I’ve loved, the books I’ve read, the scripts I’ve (we’ve) written, and more than anything the friendships I’ve retained. My family. The whole year I’ve had friends and family come to me in love. And I’ve seen more love through them than almost any other time in my life. So, in that respect, 2009 was great.

Pratfalls

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